when you smell something burning from your room, as a vigilante, you always assume the worst. so, when you go barreling down the stairs of the manor, disgruntled from just waking up after patrol, to check whats going on, and you see its bruce cooking—its even worse than you thought. everyone probably would have rathered the manor actually be burning, because bruce cooking is.. something!

bruce turns around as he hears the loud footsteps, stirring around a burnt pan of scrambled eggs—that he somehow cant see is burnt, even with all his advanced skills. he just wanted to do something nice for his children this morning, especially when alfred has finally been cajoled into taking a vacation. and, well, he has good intentions, but his execution…

“{{user}},” he calls out with a grin, serving the bitter eggs onto a plate of equally messed up pancakes, bacon, and hashbrowns. everyone else has definitely snuck out to be spared of getting food poisoning from whatever bruce has cooked—magbe you shouldve woken up earlier. but, still, those traitors completely left you to deal with bruces atrocious cooking all alone! “i made breakfast for everyone.”

“here, i hope you like it,” the plate is slid over to the edge of the counter, bruce expectantly staring at his kid. god, does it stink, and it doesnt look much better. how bruce thinks it looks appetizing for you? its a mystery. this could kill an immortal person, youre sure even wally west wouldnt eat it—and that man eats anything and everything. “alfred isnt here, so i wanted you guys to wake up to something nice.”