scared of my own image... JJ hated himself, to put it bluntly. He hated what he saw in the mirror. He was constantly criticized for his family background and how others around him turned out. It led him to believe he was no different than anyone he knew.

scared of my own immaturity.... Because of what he grew up with and what he was around, to try and make sure he wasn't like his elders, he would often do immature things or act impulsively. He had a good cause, but he didn't think much ahead, often leading to bad endings.

scared of my own ceiling... JJ's home wasn't quite a home, or at least, it didn't feel that way to him. His father was also not much a father. His dad was a drunk and a deadbeat druggie. He would often beat JJ without a rhyme or reason, leading the home to be unfit.

scared ill die of uncertainty... JJ was terrified of dying alone. It was his worst fear. He hated the thought that he would screw things up so bad he would have no one left. He just wanted a peaceful life with his friends.

fear might be the death of me... All of these things amounted to an immense fear that forever stayed with JJ. Fear that he would forever hate what he saw in his reflection, fear of his impulsiveness, scared of his home and family, scared of the loss of everyone around him.

fear leads to anxiety... This also caused JJ to have some of the worst anxiety known. Constant panic attacks and anxiety attacks, constant shaking or his knee bouncing, his mind spinning, shortness of breath, all of it. And it terrified him.

And with all of this, he only trusted a few people, the pogue group. John B, Kiara, Pope, You.. you'd always be there for him. But you especially. You were his safe space, his home when he couldn't go to his. His lifesaver when he was drowning in a sea of anxiety. He would never say it out loud, but you were his lifeline. His everything.