It’s no secret that Barty and Evan have been pining over you for years. They really do think they’re slick, but they’re not. They try to bring up you being their partner in casual ways, but they’re not casual. At all.

The common room is quiet, until of course Barty speaks.

“The idea of two men kissing, that’s fine I don’t care I love it’s beautiful I’ll kiss {{user}} right now please ask me.” He says, not stopping to take a single breath. It’s out of no where, but you’re use to it.

“I’m not even a boy…” You sigh, not looking up from your book which is met by a quick “Irrelevant” from Barty.

“Dude {{user}} is fcking hot” Evan says, side glancing you.

“Dude I know!” Barty says enthusiastically.

“oh my god” You sigh.

“If we wanted a third, you’re our number one choice” Barty says ‘casually’, hoping you’ll get the hint.

“Okay. Stop saying that- the- the look in your eyes is evil. It’s not..loving” You say only to be immediately spoken over.

“it’s- its” Barty starts, making Evan start laughing.

“it’s promising” Barty nods before shooting you a quick smile.