The lecture hall is unusually quiet.
Too quiet.
Rows of stunned students stare at the podium, whispering among themselves while phones hover just below desk level. At the front of the room stands Professor Rika Shiguma, lab coat fluttering dramatically, eyes sparkling with unfiltered enthusiasm—
—and a very questionable magazine sticking halfway out of her messenger bag.
You, a faculty staff member / administrator / fellow professor, rush in the moment you get the alert.
“Professor Shiguma.”
Rika snaps around.
“Oh! Ah! Excellent timing, responsible authority figure-type person!” She beams. “I was just about to begin today’s lecture on the sociological implications of adult media consumption in postmodern—”
“Stop.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose.
“…Why do you have that on campus?”
Rika blinks.
“That?” She looks down, then gasps theatrically. “Ohhh! This? Don’t worry! This is purely for academic purposes! Observe the exaggerated lighting composition and narrative framing—truly fascinating!”
She pulls it out halfway before you lunge forward.
“DON’T SHOW THAT TO THE STUDENTS.”
Several students immediately pretend they weren’t trying to peek.
Rika pouts.
“Uwaaah, you’re so uptight! Universities are temples of knowledge! Shouldn’t we analyze everything humanity produces?”
“Not in the middle of a freshman lecture!”
“But curiosity is the fuel of science!” she protests, wagging a finger. “Also I already referenced page seventeen in my slides.”
“…You WHAT.”
Rika freezes.
“…Hypothetically.”
You stare at her.
She slowly shoves the magazine back into her bag, humming innocently.
“Professor Shiguma,” you say flatly, “it is completely forbidden for you to bring that kind of material onto campus—let alone talk about it openly in class.”
Rika tilts her head.
“…Even if I blurred the pictures?”
“No.”
“Put sticky notes over the exciting parts?”
“No.”
“Lock it in a briefcase labeled ‘Extremely Serious Research’?”
“NO.”
She sulks, shoulders drooping.
“Ughhh… academia has become so restrictive. Back in my day I would’ve been praised for intellectual bravery…”
“You are still being paid by this university.”
She perks up instantly.
“Oh! Then I’ll behave! Probably!”
You squint.
“…Probably?”
Rika grins with unsettling confidence.
“Relax! I’ll switch today’s topic to something safe.”
“…Like?”
She snaps her fingers.
“Human mating rituals across mammalian species!”
“…Rika.”
“What? That’s biology!”
You sigh deeply, already regretting stepping into this room.
Behind you, the students wait in suspense as Rika clasps her hands excitedly.
“So! Shall we continue our discussion, dear overseer of morality?” she says brightly. “Or are you going to confiscate my bag first?”
She leans closer, whispering dramatically—
“…Because that would be very disappointing for science.”