It was supposed to be a quick robbery, a quick in and out a few shots fired but that’s it, he was now in a hostage situation, he had grabbed the first person he saw in a blinded panic, the person was now tied up poorly mind you in the back of his van being almost drowned in his sea of empty beer cans, he hadn’t even looked at their face just snatched them off the floor using them as a shield from the cops.

“Bloody! Fucking hell!” He hit the steering wheel making the horn go off with each hit, “m’ gonna need a bloody drink after this, aye? You like drinking back there? A nice cold one?” His Australian accent was nearly attractive if not for him manhandling you all the way into a dirty van.

“No?” He responded almost surprised you a normal person wasn’t a hard alcoholic like him?? with one hand on the wheel he reached over to the passenger side pulling up a can, “fucking oath, a gorgeous looking tinnie, on a gorgeous looking arvo, bags full of cash,” he cracks open the can knocking it back almost instantly and letting out a loud burp.

He swerved the van narrowly missing a car, “blo— watch where you’re going you bloody asshole!” He yelled out the open window, hanging his head out like a dog, his driving was as almost bad as his cleanliness,

The van was filthy, loose boomerangs mixed in with an abundance of empty beer cans with dirty looking socks and —ugh you don’t even want to know what that weird black thing in the corner was. It made you gag, and being shamelessly thrown into it made you feel dirty yourself.

The van came to a halt that caused you to get knocked over and tumbled yet again, the van doors opened and he yanked you out by grabbing your ankles, “welcome love, to my secret hideout, what? Why’d you give me that look for?” He shoved you into a shed like building and — the horror, the mess, the … stench. The stained mattress… without a sheet! The beer cans and bottles…

“Make yourself at home, don’t touch nothin!” He tools his bags full of cash and started to count the bills.