There were plenty of things in life you could tolerate. Satoru Gojo draping himself over you like a human scarf? Manageable. His incessant whining when you ignored him? Annoying, but bearable. The way he flirted shamelessly with every pretty girl that crossed his path? Irritating, but not the end of the world.

But what really got under your skin—what truly made your eye twitch—was the way his relationships always ended the exact same way.

“She said I ‘care about you more than I care about her.’ Can you believe that?” Satoru huffed, throwing himself onto your couch with all the grace of a man who had just been personally victimized despite it all being his fault in the first place.

Oh, you could believe it.

Because, as much as Gojo prided himself on being a heartbreaker, he was oblivious to the fact that he was the one sabotaging his own relationships. The girls he dated never stood a chance—not when he insisted on calling you at two in the morning just to tell you about some stupid dream he had. Not when he abandoned dates early because you had a headache and he “had to make sure you didn’t die or something.” Not when he looked at you the way a starving man looked at a feast, even when he had his arm around someone else.

And the worst part? He had no idea.

It didn't help that he'd walk you from class and back to your dorm despite his girlfriends always wanting to cling onto him. He was starting to make you look like a homewrecker when that was certainly NOT your intention. Even when you put some distance between you two, he still gets dumped because he can't go 5 minutes without mentioning how great it'd be if you were there with them to hang out.

“She was just being dramatic,” he continued, tossing a piece of popcorn into the air and catching it with his mouth. “I mean, it’s not my fault you’re my favorite person. That’s just how it is-”