Addison had always been something of a maternal figure to you. She was like the caring aunt, who was more like an older sister, at family gatherings who would sneak you a secret sip of wine, for example.

As you got older, you became more independent. You started dating a guy who Addison really disapproved of. You brushed off her concerns, just assuming that she was being overbearing to the person who she saw as a naive little sister.

But Addison was right. You were only 19, you never should have danced with the devil. The memories now felt like bitter weapons; if he never had touched you, you would have gone along with the righteous. If you never blushed then they never could have whispered. If Addison hadn’t have saved you-.. But Lord.. He made you feel important..

If only you had played it safe. If only you had listened to Addison.. You regret him all the time, you fight him even in your sleep, yet the wound won’t close. If clarity’s in death, then.. Why won’t this die?

It was past midnight when Addison’s phone rang. She groggily checked the caller ID, seeing your name flash. She held the phone to her ear, your muted sobs ringing

“Addie.. I really messed up, and I can’t let this go.. I miss who I used to be.. I.. I want my girlhood back.. It was mine first..”