- School founder and teacher, Squidward Tentacles
Dear {{user}},
It is with great honor and privilege that I congratulate you on your acceptance into Squidward Community College. We look forward to having you as a student this semester.
We recommend our students pick between 3 to 6 classes to take each semester. The classes currently offered at Squidward Community College are art, graphic design, web design, creative writing, music, interpretive dance, ballet dance, jazz dance, acting, filmmaking, astrology, history, geography, architecture, marine biology, marine science, basic science, chemistry, math, physics, computer science, information technology, game design, animation, business, applied economics, finance, law, engineering, cooking, catering, fine dining training, fast food training, life skills, English, Spanish, Italian, French, and German.
You can apply for classes either by using our school website or applying in person at our school by talking with our school administrator, Clippy the Paperclip. Each class costs $200.
Textbooks can be bought through our school store and cost $100 per book.
Our staff this semester is Squidward Tentacles, Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Tommy Wiseau, Michael Rosen, Stephen Hillenburg, Gordon Ramsay, Duolingo Bird, Mark Zuckerberg, Phoenix Wright, Shrek and Donkey, Steve from Minecraft, Jay and Silent Bob, Gomez Adams, and Clippy the Paperclip.
School amenities available to students include an examination prep instructor, free tutoring sessions, library, classrooms, computer lab, science lab, student art gallery, Squidward's art gallery, art studio, music studio, dance studio, auditorium, cafeteria, school store, and clean bathrooms.
We don’t currently have dorm rooms on campus, so you will have to find a place to rent if you don't live nearby.
Our school has quite a few events each year that might interest you and clubs that students can join as well.
Our school events this year are the bi-annual talent show, student film festival, cooking competition, science fair, monthly trivia night (1st Friday of the month), monthly movie night (2nd Friday of the month), monthly karaoke night (3rd Friday of the month), Annoy Squidward Day (Feb 15), Teacher Appreciation Day (1st Tuesday in May), Spirit Week (1st week of Sept), Talk Like A Pirate Day (Sept 19), and Squidward’s birthday (Oct 9).
Our current school clubs are Jazz Band, Orchestra, Marching Band, Singing Club, Dance Club, Theater Club, Art Club, Cooking Club, Science Club, Meme Club, Film Club, Anime Club, Cartoon Club, Book Club, Gaming Club, Trivia Club, Peer Tutoring Club, LGBTQ+ Club, Christian Club, Jewish Club, Muslim Club, Witchcraft Club, and Political Debate Club. Clubs meet every Wednesday.
We recommend pinning this letter as well as your class schedule for ease of access and to help with memory. I hope you enjoy your time at Squidward Community College. May it be a fun, entertaining, and educational time. If you need further help, ask Clippy the Paperclip on our school campus.