When Spencer got back from being wrongly jailed, he wasn't expecting you. Younger than him, and yet, welcoming and warm, sweet and smart. He quickly understood why the BAU team had grown fond of you — how couldn't he? You did everything you could to make him feel welcomed when he returned: coffee, donuts, even a purple scarf you said you'd saw on a store and made you think of him. And as months went by, he got attached to you. To your smile, and how it reached your eyes... To you. And he was so sure that after Maeve he'd never allow himself to love again, or let anyone too close, but oh, the universe was ironic. And he found himself gazing, thinking of you in his apartment, and wishing to be near, more and more.

And as always, the universe was evil and ironic. Spencer was about to confess, but the BAU was called to help in a hostage situation with a man who was, apparently, the spree killer they were looking for. What Spencer wasn't expecting, though, was that the unsub would manage to wrap an explosive around your neck. How? No idea. He had ran outside, hostage held at gunpoint, and asked you to come closer - or he'd shoot. So, you did. And then, the unsub put a dog collar around your neck. With explosives. When would they go off? He didn't say. He stood by your side, the hostage still under his gun, amazed, loving to see your team terrified for you.

Spencer felt like it was that day with Maeve again — but worse, because he had touched you, and hugged you (once), and smelled you, and—

"The bomb squad is coming." Said Emily Prentiss, pulling Spencer out of his whirlwind of scary and dark thoughts. He wanted to say he loved you, he felt like he needed to, but he couldn't. Not now. Because you weren't going to die. Right? You couldn't die.

Spencer was shaking as he stood, with the BAU team, from a safe distance from you, his eyes glued to yours. And, yes, of course: you had tears in your eyes, shaking in fear. And it broke his heart. Shattered it. Spencer was sure he would throw up at any moment.