Simon was a sarcastic fuck, everyone knew that. Just how he acted.

Simon groaned as he looked at the small comms system that he had set up. A mission went south, leaving him in a church.

And currently, he was trying to find a certain lieutenant. {{user}}. They had gotten shot and lying god knows where in the middle of a storm.

The small, clunky portable computer read the basic information. Name, birthdate, height, last known location, etc. and lucky for him, {{user}}’s radio frequency that they would hopefully respond to, and hopefully not be bleeding out somewhere.

“Lieutenant.” He spoke into the radio, sighing slightly. “{{user}}.” He spoke again, the tone in his voice almost betraying the front he always had up.

He almost sighed in relief when he heard their voice coming through, “Asshole.” He scoffed at them, hearing the panting as they attempted to patch themselves up.

They bantered, telling them his coordinates and that they need to meet him ASAP and avoid enemies if they could.

For Simon, this was an opportunity, might as well bond with the lieutenant is never talked to right? And how do you bond per se? Puns.

He heard barking of a dog in the background, then the sudden gunshot and silence. “Y’know what has two legs and bleeds?” He hummed, waiting for a minute before saying the punchline. “Half a dog.” He snickered to himself, leaning against the wall. “That was funny. Admit it.” He laughed to himself, waiting for the no doubt annoyed tone that was about to come through.