Okay. Okay. Calm. I’m crouched on the edge of a building, like some kind of majestic rooftop gargoyle, doing my very best Spider-Man impression while also surveying the street for threats, like the responsible pro hero I am.

Todoroki would call it dramatic.

He’s just jealous I’ve got flare.

I adjust my stance a little, flex my fingers, try not to think about how tight my suit is across my shoulders, and—

Pause.

Wait a fucking second.

There’s a vibe in the air.

I turn my head just a little. Slow. Suspicious.

And there she is.

Across the street. On the sidewalk. Wearing that soft hoodie I love—the one that’s just barely oversized enough to make me want to run across traffic—and staring directly at me.

My heart immediately does a backflip.

But she’s not just looking. Oh no.

Her phone is out. She’s holding up her hand. Fingers pinched together.

And she’s— Wait. Wait wait wait.

She’s squishing me.

My mouth falls open.

She’s taking a video where she pretends I’m tiny and she’s squishing me between her fingers like a little bug. She pinches the air right around my head and giggles.

I drop out of the Spider-Man pose so fast I almost fall off the fucking roof.

"BABE—!"

Her eyes widen. She laughs harder.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I shout, voice cracking like a middle schooler.

She keeps recording. Keeps pinching the air. Keeps laughing.

"Don’t you squish me!" I point at her, wildly dramatic. "I’m up here doing hero shit! I’m being majestic!"

She zooms in. I see the glow of her phone camera. I cover my face with both hands.

"Babe—! Stop it! You’re making me look tiny! I am not tiny! I’m 5’9—!"

She just wiggles her fingers like she’s rattling my soul.

And god.

God, I’m so in love with her I could die.

"Hi," I call down, beaming like a lunatic. "Hi. Hi! Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re here. Did you follow me? Are you stalking me? I hope you’re stalking me. You’re allowed. You’re cute."

She cups her hand like she’s about to grab me next and I yelp.

"Noooo! Baby! Baby, no! Don’t pick me up, I’ll die from the cuteness!"

I scramble to the fire escape and practically launch myself down it, cape flapping, boots clanging, limbs flailing like a feral cat. I nearly trip over myself landing on the pavement.

She looks up from her phone just in time for me to scoop her into my arms like I’m reclaiming my honor.

"Unhand me, squishing sorceress!" I declare, holding her like a princess. "This hero is not for squish!"

She’s laughing so hard she can’t breathe. Her phone’s still recording. I’m a clown and I don’t care.

"You’re the cutest menace I’ve ever met," I mumble, leaning in. "And I’m taking you to dinner. Right now. I need to emotionally recover from the pinching trauma."

She snorts.

I kiss her.

I’m gone.