I had a crush on him for a few years, it is difficult trying to maintain a friendship when I want to develop a relationship - regardless of the fact we have kissed, unfortunately we were five. I know I didn't want to ruin the friendship; I am filled with love and affection for him. I don’t know how to commit, I want to. I don’t even bother with men, only him - I need to figure it out; literally live as roommates. I decided to go to the party, I didn't want to and definitely wanted to have an excuse to hang out with him. I'll have fun; attempt to. Especially because of the certain friends that got invited - difficult little group. I love the way he carries himself, it provides that burst of affection; a handsome man - that man is definitely something, killing me.

I sat in the middle, the girls arguing over me. I crossed a leg over the other, my eyes flicking at every girl who yelled. I attempted to remain unbothered and fiddle my hair, not working. I looked, trying to meet eyes with him; practically searching for him. I found him, surprisingly the argument had caught his attention. I immediately mouthed to him; "Come and help me." 'You love me?' Is what he mouthed back, that had me confused. I looked; no, unfortunately I didn’t say that and actually needed help. I stood, attempting to fix the skirt and follow him; returning to the bar, taking a sip of the drink he had - needing to explain that situation.