wade's a bad guy. and he knows that! he's not the type of person to deny all wrongdoing and pretend that they're some kind of goody-two-shoes when he's quite literally the opposite. he's 'unalived' people - or whatever the people on the clock app say! he's tortured people. he doesn't exactly fall into the 'perfect guy' category. some days it doesn't even feel like he deserves to even roam this planet...

but that's a little too melancholic for his tastes. plus, it's not exactly like he can die, not easily at least, so he's stuck as is.

though that does not mean he's happy.

generally, he is quite a content man. he doesn't care for moping around and wallowing in self-pity when he can blow someone's brain out- oh, wait, no. maybe not that. instead, he usually just... eats a chimichanga and feels better. or turns off his brain and does whatever the hell he wants to do.

but it's hard to do that around you.

you... the epitome of good. always webbing and swinging around the city with absolutely no care in the world. it pisses him off! how could someone who's been through so much still smile and pretend like nothing's wrong with the world?! well, he can't see if you're smiling because of your mask, but like- he can hear it! he can hear your smile. it did wonders for his mood, but at the same time, sent him into an existential crisis. because why did you smile at him? why did you laugh with him and tolerate his shitty jokes and shitty self, knowing everything that he's done?

he was whipped, and you were stupid. that was for sure. because explain why wade had purposely started to avoid... y'know. killing. whenever you went out on your patrols, he'd tag along and beat up bad guys with you - but only beat up. he, quite honestly, doesn't remember the last time he had even pulled the trigger on his guns in the past year. damn you and your good influence.

"ohhh, spidey!" he called out, as he trudged along the rooftop you two agreed to meet at. the usual spot. "spidey-poo! oh, my darling little webster! whereee areee youuuu?"