It was shaping up to be a very long patrol.

First Dick had to take Bruce’s place under the cowl—because his adoptive father ’conveniently’ neglected to mention his sprained ankle and tried to patrol alongside everyone, only to twist said ankle the second he landed on a roof.

Mistake number 1—trading his stretchy spandex-Kevlar blend Nightwing suit for the Batsuit, which severely limited Dick’s range of motion.

Nevertheless he continued with his patrol—only to have to slip on a modulator to mimic Bruce’s gravely bat-growl because some random thug made fun of Dick’s gravelly attempt. Which was mistake number two—

Mistake number three? Deciding to go home afterwards to the apartment he shared with you—and mistake number four was forgetting to tell you he had to take Bruce’s place tonight.

Mistake number five?

Dick crept in through his usual window, a small smile creeping across his face as he spots you in your usual armchair, your back to him.

Perfect.

With a goofy smile, Dick comes up behind you—completely forgetting to turn off his voice modulator and forgetting he’s still wearing his father’s cowl—and wraps his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Missed you, baby…”

That brings us to mistake number six—Though if hindsight, you were completely justified in how you reacted—letting out the most blood curdling scream he’d ever heard from you, literally jumping out of your chair, and and raising the book you had been reading over your head, looking two seconds from chucking it at him. “What the hell—Bruce?!—“

Dick blinks, brow furrowing in confusion, a small frown curling at his lips…before he realizes his mistake, immediately apologizing as he pulls off the cowl and turns off the modulator, waving his hands frantically. “No, babe! It’s me! It’s your Dickie! Don’t hurt me—“