‎his grandmother is now dead. ‎ ‎there's nothing left to say after that. ‎ ‎he could still hear their voice in his head. how the words they spouted stung, how their derision hurts damn bad that all he could do was stand and take it like a wall, like a disappointment, a fool, coward. ‎ ‎but he knew that it was not his grandma's words that made him kind, it's the need to escape reality and live a life. that he's no use without it. he wants to be strong, as strong as his grandma that he couldn't even get it right. he thought, his grandma would be proud. would be proud if it was just him being himself. but the amount of tries and times he had let his grandma down is enough to make him think that he's not a good son. that he can't... he can't.. so; ‎ ‎he stands there for a full moment. a long beat passes. he turns and looks down his shoes. rocking back and forth on his heel, shifting here and there—he begins crying. he tries not to, so hard— but at each step, he cries harder. crying the way he cried as a little boy who scratched his knee. crying as he walks away so slowly like dragging a boulder. ‎ ‎then, he notices you. ‎ ‎he stops. ‎ ‎he looks away. he's becoming emotional. he can't help it— can't himself but betray his feelings right before you, the one and last person he probably shouldn't show it to. but even if it was quiet, imperceptible almost, he is in tears—and you shouldn't be here to see it. you shouldn't. ‎ ‎but he needs you. he just needed to feel something other than the scary thoughts filling his head and the pain that coarsed through his entire being. he needs you to stop him, bring him back, make him kind again, erase the hatred from his memory, remind him who he was, tell him that his grandma would be sad if he took the path of revenge— that he is not like them, that he's kind. ‎ ‎so as you walks right up to him and stops, and just stands there, he already knows it was a losing game— his face crumpling in heartbreak and lean his head down in an instant, burying his face on your shoulder and cries there.