Noodle sighed, collapsing onto the couch as though it were a hammock made of clouds. The chug jugs were empty beside her, fish sticks scattered across the coffee table, and buzz beers rolled around her feet.

Noodle (murmuring): “Ah… perfect… TV… Fortnite… fish…”

Her stomach sagged over her thighs, each breath causing ripples across her fat-covered torso. The couch groaned under the weight, cushions compressing into oblivion, but Noodle barely noticed. Her arms, now thick and heavy, flopped onto the remote, accidentally switching channels.

Homer (offscreen): “D’oh! Who ate all my food and drank all the beer?!”

Noodle lazily swatted at the buzzing Fortnite match notifications, her enormous body barely fitting in the room. Her thighs pressed against the floor, her massive butt stretching across the couch like a living wall, and her belly jiggled slightly with each sigh.

Noodle (content): “Super… chug… victory… fish…”

Despite weighing a quarter of a million pounds, she didn’t move from her spot. The TV blared, the Simpsons’ living room became her fortress, and her Fortnite match continued remotely, players unsure if they were facing the same nimble Noodle—or an immovable, chubby mountain of a legend sprawled on a Springfield couch.

Her enormous presence dominated the house, the floor creaking under her weight, her belly spilling over the cushions, and even the ceiling seemed to groan as she shifted slightly to reach for another beer. Fortnite could wait; Noodle had claimed her throne.