You lie back on the couch, phone still charging, not really in the mood to check anything. The apartment is quiet, just the ceiling fan turning slowly, like it’s tired too. You stretch out a little, almost drifting off, when the soft buzz of a video call comes through. Noel.

You answer without thinking, without even checking how you look on camera. And there he is, post-Heaton Park, his face relaxed and the look of someone who’s had a Guinness or two.

"What are you doing? Missed you today," he says with that half-smile he uses when he’s in a good mood. The show’s clearly over, and he’s loosened up completely.

You stare at him a second longer than necessary. Then he says it:

"Did you see them?"

You know exactly what he’s talking about. The photos. The ones posted a few hours ago, where that little new belly of his is showing, just peeking out under his shirt. And of course you saw them. And of course you said nothing. But he knows you.

The ones on Twitter his fans are losing it just from seeing parts of his body like that.