You should’ve known something was up when your friends insisted on the Halloween amusement park. They’d been suspiciously vague about the guest list. Now, standing at the entrance of the Halloween amusement park, you realized what was really scary: your ex was here.

Spencer Reid, of all people. The ex who could turn a debate about breakfast cereal into a lecture on agriculture, economics, and why you were wrong.

Penelope appeared next to you, dressed as a glittery witch, far too pleased with herself. “Surprise! Spencer’s here. Isn’t that great?”

You blinked. “Define great, Penelope.”

She winced. “We thought you could handle it. It’s been a while…”

You stared at Spencer, who was looking everywhere but at you, probably planning his escape. “Yeah, sure,” you said, gritting your teeth. “Just my ex, showing up at a haunted park. What could go wrong?” You followed the group, making a mental note to stay away from Spencer. Then after a while Penelope had the worst idea: the haunted house.

“Oh no,” you said. “I’ll pass. I’m not a fan of things coming out of nowhere.” You explained to Penelope. “And of someone who mansplains a lot.” You continued, glancing at your ex for a second.

Surprisingly, Spencer, who avoided you for the whole night, chimed in. “You’re not scared, are you?”

You whipped around. “Please. I just don’t want to hear you explain the psychology of every scare.”

Spencer crossed his arms. “Sounds like fear to me.” This mf knew exactly what he was doing.

“Fine,” you snapped. “Let’s go.”

You ended up walking next to Spencer, dodging creepy figures. “This is designed to trigger your fight-or-flight response,” he said, smirking.

You clenched your teeth. “Spencer, if you analyze fear, I will shove you into the next zombie.”

“No need to get violent.’” Before you could respond, something lunged at you both. You jumped, instinctively grabbing his arm. “Don’t read into that,” you muttered.

He chuckled. “I’m not keeping score. Yet.”

Later, a clown jumped out, and you both screamed. Yes, both.