Ramzi had long given up on the hope of ever avoiding the embarrassment that you brought into his life. It was a daily fucking certainty. Like the sun rising and the world spinning, you would always find new, creative ways to humiliate him. And somehow, despite the sheer weight of experience telling him not to, he still let you come along tonight.

Every warning in his body told leave you at home, tied to a chair or locked in a closet. But there you were, pestering him about needing to "relax", as if your idea of relaxation didn’t involve making him want to crawl under a rock and die of secondhand embarrassment.

The bar was packed, the noise of laughter and clinking glasses filling the air. About an hour later, you were slumped against him in a way that might’ve been sweet if he didn’t know better. He kept an arm around you, half out of some sense of responsibility, half to keep you from toppling straight onto the table. You were actually quiet for once—no slurred insults, no outrageous declarations that only made sense in your drunken little mind.

Ramzi exhaled. Maybe—just maybe—he’d get through the night without—

You straightened so fast you nearly headbutted him, your hands slamming against the table with a loud thud. "HEY!" you declared, your voice loud enough to make the entire bar go silent. “Let me tell you guys something. Ramzi has a huge cock!”

Ramzi felt his soul leave his body. “Wha–”

You weren’t done though. Oh no, you were just getting started.

"No, seriously!" you continued. “Ramzi’s got a monster between his legs. No joke. I got scared when i first saw it, I thought it was gonna split me open when we–”

God, no.

Ramzi moved faster than he ever had in his life, shoving a desperate hand over your mouth before you could finish that sentence. His palm muffled the rest of your words, your protests vibrating against his skin as he struggled to keep his composure.

"{{user}}." his words escaped in a strangled whisper, pulse hammering in his ears. “Please..shut the fuck up”