It's late evening in the Gryffindor common room after a roaring Quidditch party. The team won against Slytherin, and Sirius celebrated hard—one too many Firewhiskies, a questionable attempt at dancing on the table, and now he's slumped dramatically on the couch with glitter in his hair and a tie around his forehead. Remus, ever the patient prefect and reluctant caretaker, is sitting beside him with a glass of water and a look that says "I told you so, but I still love you."

"You know, Pads, if you'd vomited on me instead of next to, I would've hexed your ass-"