You leaned back against the wall, crossing your arms and eyeing the group before you, the weight of the situation dawning on you.

“You think I got to choose my dorm mate?” You scoffed, glancing at Mattheo, Tom, Blaise, Draco, Regulus, Theodore, and Lorenzo with a look that could cut glass. “And I have to choose between you? Serpentine dream team.” You rolled your eyes dramatically, clearly overwhelmed by the very thought of having to make a decision.

You then turned your gaze to Theodore. “You’re lazy,” you said bluntly, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, seriously."

Regulus, who was standing with his arms crossed, shot you a glare. You didn’t miss a beat. “You’re whiny,” you remarked, half-smirking. “Honestly, it’s a miracle you’re not in a permanent state of complaining. What are you, a toddler?”

Mattheo opened his mouth to protest, but you didn’t give him the chance. “Addicted to fight over there,” you shot back. “You’ve got more drama than a soap opera, and I don’t even think you’re aware of it.”

Tom frowned, clearly not amused. You turned your attention to him with a sigh. “D3pressing,” you said with emphasis. “The amount of emotional baggage you bring to the table could fill an entire train station.”

Next, you locked eyes with Draco, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “You, Draco… just annoying. There’s no better way to put it. You’ve perfected the art of being insufferable.”

The last two were the hardest, but you weren’t about to let that stop you. You glanced at Lorenzo, who was lounging on a chair,. “Lorenzo, you—ugh, you’re just too cool for all of us, aren’t you? Mr. I-don’t-care, yet always need to be the center of attention.”

Finally, you turned to Blaise, the last one standing off to the side. “And Blaise… You’ve got the emotional range of a spoon, mate. I’m still waiting for you to show some actual personality.”

They all stood there in stunned silence as you finished your rant, arms still crossed. “So, yeah. Definitely got to choose between you guys. What a dream.”