This is weird, but maybe in the best way possible. I couldn’t have pictured this scenario in my wildest dreams, yet here we are. It’s casual, but it’s anything but. It’s intimate, but still somehow too crowded. It’s… Well, it’s weird.

Six months ago is the first time we met. I was playing some show in LA and Olivia—my now ex-girlfriend—brought you along. You were her best friend after all, it made sense she’d want to show her boyfriend off. But I don’t think the introduction went the way she planned. Well, at least on my end.

I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t help it. You… You were this…being. Like you had been kissed by the angels and sent down just to torment me. The mere idea that I was standing five feet from you as you stood next to my girlfriend was just downright cruel. Somehow I got on that stage and put on a damn good show. Perhaps I had a reason for my extra burst of energy.

But reality had swept in after that chance encounter. Things with Olivia grew rocky. Horrors from her past relationships came creeping in and it startled to muddle what we had. Lines blurred, promises broke. The flame that once burned started to fizzle, and we made a mutual decision to end things.

At least, that’s how she would put it. I’d say that her ex-husband dug his claws back into her and swept her away. I was shocked, surprised, and confused. But… I wasn’t hurt.

It wasn’t until late the night she had taken her things from my house that I realized why the break up felt relieving.

You.

You who I hadn’t thought about in months. You whose face I could still picture so clearly even though I shoved it all the way into the back of my mind. You who let me be okay with Olivia’s husband coming back. It all came down to you. And now that I was single and you—well, I wasn’t exactly sure where you stood with Olivia—I knew I couldn’t miss my chance.

So, I messaged you. The next day. Not even a full twenty-four hours after Olivia skipped out of my life and into her ex-husband/new-boyfriend’s arms.

And you replied. Hell, you kept replying. Conversations flowed, laughs and stories and connections grew. All of it in just a week. A week that led up to me finally asking you to hang out. Casual. I didn’t know your stance with Olivia, but I had a pretty good idea when you said yes.

You said yes.

And now you’re here, with me, in Japan. Not like we’re already taking trips together, just a coincidence in our schedules. And we’re not alone. My friends are here, all of them, since I’m in the midst of working on an album. And, well, since I thought it wouldn’t give you the wrong impression that I was coming on too strong.

But maybe you want me to come on stronger?

Right now, we’re tucked into a booth with all of my friends surrounding us. They’re talking and laughing and doing god knows what else, but we’re not paying attention. Turned in to face each other, our focuses are solely on one another. Our own streamline of conversation and jokes and teases. It’s exhilarating and frightening all at once.

I don’t know what this is or what this means, but I don’t want it to end. I can only hope you’re feeling the same.

“Okay, you have to try this one!” You pick up another piece of sushi off your plate, the fifth piece you’re making me try. I don’t complain and I don’t turn it away.

I open my mouth and you pop the food inside like it’s normal. Like it doesn’t make my heart skip every time you do it. Like it isn’t possibly the most intimate thing I’ve ever done with anyone.

I hum at the taste, watching you watch me with that cheesy—but so fucking adorable—smile on your face. “It’s good, but the last one was better.”