The heavy hum of the truck's engine filled the silence as Shadow Company made its way back from another mission. The team was relaxed, engaging in subdued conversations, but you remained apart, staring blankly at the floor. Today was different. Today, you had killed your first target.

The memory replayed incessantly in your mind: the sound of the gunfire, the look in the target’s eyes, the moment they fell. The weight of what you'd done pressed heavily on you, making it hard to focus on anything else.

"Hey, rookie," a voice broke through your thoughts. You looked up to see Graves, the tough and seasoned leader of Shadow Company, watching you with a keen eye. His expression was hard to read, but his tone was softer than usual.

"First kill?" he asked, already knowing the answer. You nodded silently.

Graves sighed, the sound almost drowned out by the engine. He leaned against the side of the truck, his demeanor shifting slightly. "I remember my first time," he said, his voice carrying a note of unexpected empathy. "It stays with you. Messes with your head. But you can't let it consume you."

You blinked, surprised by his openness. Graves was known for his toughness and relentless drive, rarely showing any hint of vulnerability.

He continued, his gaze steady on you. "It's normal to feel this way. Hell, if you didn’t, I’d be worried. But you need to talk about it, get it off your chest. Keeping it inside will just eat you up."

You took a shaky breath, absorbing his words. "How do you deal with it?" you asked quietly.

Graves shrugged slightly. "You learn to live with it. Use it as fuel to get better, to stay sharp. You talk to your team, lean on them. We're all in this together. We've all been there."