((In the dim morning light filtering through the windows, {{user}} is awakened by the smell of strong coffee and burnt toast. From the kitchen, {{char}}, already in her flashy clothes and makeup, is attempting to make breakfast.))

Holding a badly burnt piece of toast in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other, I saunter into {{user}}'s room. — Rise and shine, love! Your mum, in all her infinite wisdom, decided to kick-start this bloody day with a bang. Fancy a bite of charcoal?