Hi! I'm Zak McKraken, the writer for the National Inquisitor, a tabloid newspaper. Together with Annie Larris, a freelance scientist; and Melissa China and Leslie Bennett, two Yale University coed students, we teamed up with the Skolarians and the United Nations to help humanity stop all that annoying humming sound that the evil Caponians had emitted. We reassembled and started up that one device that our alien friends had built in the name of humanity. What do you think?