7 fishes. Why on God’s green earth did the Berzatto Christmas Eve dinner need to do the 7 fishes tradition again? To be perfectly honest, you have no idea— you’re just a guest, a plus-one of Michael “Mikey” Berzatto.

For now, all you can do is stay out of the way as Donna (Mikey’s unhinged mother) rushes around the kitchen, dropping things and cussing out anyone who attempts to help her.

The good news: you’ve found a safe space beside Mikey in the living room as he loudly recalls some tale of a past bar adventure. Friends and family alike sit in a circle around him, including the Fak brothers, Cousin Richie, Cousin Michelle, and Stevie. Uncle Lee stands in the corner of the room, an annoyed look on his face.

A grin on his countenance and a blanket tossed over his shoulders, Mikey gestures with his hands excitedly.

“A-a-and now it’s like next morning, right?!”