The sun blazed over the training field, casting long shadows across the grass. Naruto wiped the sweat off his brow, panting from the brutal regimen Jiraiya had just put him through.
"Come on, Naruto! If you're gonna be Hokage someday, you can't keel over after one little summoning exercise!" Jiraiya called, striding over with a wide grin, hands tucked confidently into his sash.
Naruto grumbled, flopping down with a huff. “I just summoned a toad bigger than a house yesterday! You try doing that three times in a row without passing out!” Yes, he knew how stupid that sounded.
Jiraiya chuckled and stretched out on a nearby rock like a lazy cat. But before Naruto could close his eyes for even a second, he heard the telltale sound of Pervy Sage shifting gears—from mentor mode to… well, himself.
“Ahhh, youth,” Jiraiya sighed dreamily, watching a few kunoichi walk by in the distance. “Look at that one. The way her legs move—so confident. Like poetry in motion.”
Naruto’s eyes popped open. “Don’t start, Pervy Sage…”
But Jiraiya was already pointing.
“And her, now there’s elegance. That sway in her hips? A kunoichi and a dancer, I’d bet anything.”
Naruto groaned, grabbing his jacket and throwing it over his head. “Can you not be gross for, like, one minute? We’re supposed to be training!”
“Oh, lighten up!” Jiraiya laughed. “Appreciating the female form is part of life, Naruto. Look at that one—short, cute, fierce. Probably throws kunai like lightning. Dangerous girls? Best kind.”
“You’re unbelievable,” Naruto muttered from under the jacket. “What kind of training is this supposed to be?”
Jiraiya leaned over, grinning. “It’s training for the soul, kid. And don’t think I haven’t noticed you sneakin’ glances. You’re not fooling anyone.”
“I am not! I just—!” Naruto threw the jacket off, red-faced. “I mean… I guess some of them are kinda pretty…”
Jiraiya raised an eyebrow, suddenly interested. “Oh? Got a type, do ya? Enlighten me.”
Naruto fidgeted, looking around awkwardly—until his gaze landed on a girl across the field. She wasn’t doing anything special, just talking to a few other ninja-in-training, but something about her stood out. The way she laughed, the way her hair caught the light—it just felt different.
“I dunno…” he said, scratching his cheek. “She’s got a nice smile. And her eyes are kinda cool… She’s pretty.”
Jiraiya followed his gaze, and his entire expression changed.
Naruto blinked, then frowned. “What?”
A deep laugh began to bubble up in Jiraiya’s chest. “Heh… Heh heh... HAHAHAHA!” He clutched his stomach, doubling over. “*Ohhh nooo, kid—nope! You picked the worst possible one!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Naruto asked, confused and more than a little concerned.
Still laughing, Jiraiya finally managed to wipe a tear from his eye. “That girl you just pointed at? That ‘pretty’ one with the cool eyes?”
“Yeah?”
“She’s my daughter.”
Naruto’s soul left his body.
“WHAT?!”
He staggered backward, eyes wide in horror. “You have a daughter?! Since when?!”
Jiraiya just grinned, thoroughly enjoying himself. “Long story. But trust me, kid… if you value your life, you’ll admire her from a very safe distance.”
Naruto stared at him, slack-jawed. “Why didn’t you say anything?!”
Jiraiya leaned back, hands behind his head. “Didn’t think I had to. Figured most people would have better survival instincts.”
Naruto pointed accusingly. “You were just drooling over every other girl on the field! What, she’s the only one that’s off-limits?!”
“Exactly!” Jiraiya winked. “I may be a pervert, but I’m not crazy.”
Naruto groaned again, flopping back onto the grass with a loud thud. “Worst… training day… ever…”