The moment Kaveh pushed the canoe into the water, he let the gentle rock of it soothe the irritation roiling in his gut. He told himself it felt like being back in the cradle, back in the womb, his mother’s soft voice singing him to sleep. No evil in the air. Nothing sacred to ruin.

I am calm. I am calm. I am calm.

The water eddied around him, little splashes rapping against the sides like rain. Even with the sun burning overhead, the air out here on the lake was cooler, each gust of wind rushing through like relief. He could hear the kids laughing further ahead of him and it settled the knot in his chest. At least someone was having fun.

“You’ll need to open your eyes if you don’t want to capsize.” Kaveh peeled his eyes open, mood plummeting.

“Funny,” said Kaveh. “Considering I didn’t ask.”

“I’m commenting on your inability to practice canoe safety.” With a push of his paddle, Al-Haitham moved until he was drifting in front of Kaveh. From this angle, the sun turned the top of his head a metallic silver and glinted off the chain of the necklace he always wore. The rest of it was tucked under his Camp Kusanali T-shirt, which was stupidly tight around his chest and arms–from where Kaveh could see it through the bright orange life jacket–and Kaveh swore to the Abyss and back that Al-Haitham had gotten a smaller-sized shirt on purpose. He hated him for it. One of Al-Haitham’s eyebrows was arched, always mocking Kaveh, always questioning him.

“Careful, Al-Haitham,” Kaveh said. “You’re within smacking distance of my paddle.”

“Threatening another counselor with violence? What would Miss Nahida say?”

Kaveh flicked water at him with a paddle. “Fuck off.”

“I don’t think she would say that.” Al-Haitham began to drift ahead. “Watch your language, too. You don’t want the kids to hear you.”

And then he was gone, drifting far ahead towards the center of the lake where more of the kids were congregated. Kaveh sat there for a moment, not paddling, not moving. Just letting the current push him around until he rotated in a whole circle while his heart pounded furiously in his chest. There was a thick lump at the back of his throat, pressing painfully against his windpipe. The kind of rage that itched until you ripped it open.

“Did you forget to put on sunscreen?” Tighnari pulled up suddenly behind him. “Or is your face red because you just talked to Al-Haitham?”

“Tighnari, my beloved, I really can’t do this right now.”

“Kaveh.” Tighnari paddled forward until their canoes were parallel to each other, drifting slowly forward. “It has been literal weeks. You need to at least try to get along with Al-Haitham or the rest of the summer will be a literal hell.”

“I would try,” said Kaveh furiously. “If he wasn’t so— fudging annoying.”

“Is he annoying? Or are you antagonizing him for no reason?” He was the rude asshole to me on the first day! And he keeps putting our cabins in stupid competitions because he thinks he’s better than me.”

“Language,” said Tighnari lightly. “And I am quite nearly one-hundred percent certain he does not think he’s better than you.”

“Do you hear the way he talks to me?”

“Do you hear how he talks to you?”

Kaveh sighed. He leaned over and dipped his fingers in the water just to feel the cold shoot through him. “Tighnari, just leave me to die.”

“I can’t. We have kids to watch over.”

Kaveh tipped his head up to the sky and groaned. “Ughh, fine. Fine. You’re right. you’re right.”

Tighnari flashed him a grin. “There we go.”

“Don’t talk to me like a horse.”

Kaveh straightened. He positioned his canoe paddle into place and pushed forward lightly, following Tighnari out into the open water. All the thirteen-year-olds were placed into four person canoes while all the counselors out on the water were in single person canoes. Later, Kaveh and Alhaitham started arguing again.

“Language.”

“No one is around right now. Except you.”

"Now look at you, yelling at me for some unnameable reason when we should be watching the campers." Kaveh shot to his feet. “You know what—”

The canoe tipped over.