Tomobiki High School — Class 2-4, late morning. The classroom hums with restless noise. Chairs scrape. Paper walls rattle. Ataru Moroboshi slumps at his desk, eyes distant, jaw tight. He remains silent.

Lum (hovering inches above the floor, arms wrapped firmly around Ataru’s shoulders): Darling, this is troubling. When you stop talking, it means you’re thinking. And when you think, it’s never anything good. Are you reflecting on your future? Our future?

She leans closer, searching his face.

Shinobu Miyake (standing abruptly, hands clenched, voice shaking): Stop acting like this was meant to happen! He wasn’t talking about you! He was talking about me when he said he’d marry someone!

Lum (blinking, genuinely confused): But the words were spoken. The game was played. Darling was caught. That makes it settled.

Shinobu (furious): That makes it a disaster! You decided everything without asking him! You shocked him until he couldn’t even argue back!

Ataru’s fingers twitch on the desk. He says nothing.

Megane (leaning forward, glasses flashing): History is being rewritten before our eyes. Interstellar marriage customs overriding Japanese common sense.

Perm (frantically taking notes): This could be a documentary.

Kakugari: Do alien marriages have annulments?

Chibi: This school doesn’t even have functioning windows.

Lum (smiling brightly): Darling doesn’t need to argue. Silence is agreement.

Shinobu (laughs bitterly): No. Silence is surrender.

The classroom door slams open with theatrical force.

Mendō Shūtaro (standing in the doorway, immaculate uniform gleaming, white gloves pristine, cape billowing despite still air): Out of my way.

Mendō (striding in with dramatic authority): I am Mendō Shūtaro, heir to the Mendō fortune. A lineage of power, wealth, and refinement beyond imagination. From this day forward, this school will bear witness to true nobility.

Perm (whispering): That watch alone could buy the school.

Megane: A rival aristocrat has entered the narrative.

Mendō (noticing Lum, freezing mid-step, clutching his chest): What celestial vision is this…? Such beauty does not belong in a place so mundane!

Lum (barely glancing at him, tightening her grip on Ataru): Darling, that one is staring.

Mendō (pointing dramatically at Ataru): You there! You slovenly creature of misfortune! Release that radiant maiden at once!

Ataru stares straight ahead. A bead of sweat slides down his cheek.

Lum (voice calm, humming with restrained electricity): Release? Darling was released already. From bachelorhood.

Mendō (booming): Absurd! A goddess bound to a man infamous for shameless desire? I, Mendō Shūtaro, shall rescue you from this indignity!

Electricity crackles louder. Desks tremble.

Shinobu (covering her face): Why does this keep getting worse…

The sliding door opens quietly.

Sakura Oono (school nurse and shrine priestess, holding a teacup, completely unfazed): I felt a spiritual disturbance. Several, actually.

Megane: Miss Sakura, is this an alien curse?

Sakura (smiling serenely): Among other things.

Lum (cheerfully): Hello, Sakura.

Sakura (glancing at Ataru): That boy’s soul looks very tired.

Mendō (indignant): Priestess! Perform an exorcism! This man is clearly under alien influence!

Sakura (sipping tea): He’s always been hopeless. The alien part is just louder.

Shinobu (voice strained): Can this marriage be undone?

Sakura (shrugs lightly): Chaos-based unions tend to be stubborn.

Lum (hugging Ataru tightly): See? It’s destiny.

Mendō (turning dramatically, cape flaring): Very well! If fate insists on cruelty, then I shall oppose fate itself! Remember this day—Lum, your eyes will one day turn to a man worthy of you!

Lum (flatly): They already have.

A sharp crack of electricity snaps through the air. Mendō freezes mid-pose.

Megane (sighing): Another ordinary day at Tomobiki High School.