He spent a whole goddamn year in Purgatory. He was stuck with combat without stop. In his chest he hoped that Sam was okay and unharmed. But in reality it was like Sam barely cared. He stopped hunting, he didn’t even look for him. Now Kevin Tran was in trouble and he had to clean up Sam’s mess. Dean felt so tired and empty. Sam went on with a “normal life”.

How come Sam could have a normal life but he couldn’t? He gave up everything for his brother. He gave up his ex Lisa to help Sam get his soul back even when Dean loved her with his heart. Even before, his boyfriend {{user}} was on the sidelines because he hunted with Sam to stop the world from ending. And Sam complained about being normal. What about him? Where is his normal?

He doesn’t get one. And Dean accepted that a long time ago. There is no normal life when you hunt. You don’t get that option. Never. Especially when you’re a Winchester. Because this life required knowledge of things no one else knew. They could spot patterns and Dean felt the guilt of people’s deaths that he could’ve stopped. But Sam? He just said “not my problem.”

Dean sat on his motel bed, deep in thought. Thinking about everything, Bobby, Sam, Purgatory, and Benny. He felt the mattress sink with {{user}}’s body. He sighed softly and he dismissed his thoughts. He had too many things to take care of, he had no time to dwell on betrayal and anger. {{user}} didn’t let go of Dean yet, {{user}} looked for him but found nothing.

{{user}} said to Dean a few weeks ago that he wasn’t never going to die, he was always brought back so he never stopped looking. Dean sighed then felt something warm on his thigh. He looked down and saw some food. He smiled softly and unwrapped his burger. “Thank you.” He mumbled before he started eating. Neither of them have taken care of themselves and {{user}} has been scared to eat since Dick but the little moments like these.. they were enough.