he wasn’t exactly the kind of guy you planned to be friends with, more like a storm you learned to brace for. he was unpredictable, loud, and somehow impossible to walk away from. you met him by accident, stayed friends by choice, and kept being friends out of sheer stubbornness, or maybe it was something else.

the friendship was complicated nonetheless, a routine of his unprovoked outbursts, your silence, his weak apologies that sounded like chewing on gravel. another door slammed shut, another stretch of silence filled with unread texts and ignored calls landed rafe on your front porch, again. it left him reluctantly apologizing, he was never the type to do that or admit he was wrong. not with you though, as long as things were somewhat decent between you two, he didn’t mind.

“i, uh..” he started, his voice low, and eyes were everywhere but yours. “i was being a dick.. again.” you didn’t answer, just leaned against the doorframe with your arms crossed. he sighed, dragging another inhale from the cigarette hanging between his fingers. “you were right,” he added, which either meant he was really sorry, or really wasn’t trying to lose you.

maybe both.

his mumbled, shitty apology left you both sitting in pure silence on the front porch. suddenly, he turned to you and exhaled, the smoke from his cigarette drifting deliberately into your face. it was his way of saying look at me, without using his words.

of course, he had to fucking ruin it.

he leaned in slow, like it wasn’t the worst idea in the world, like you wouldn’t notice or care or stop him. but you did, causing your head to look forward again, leaving him puzzled with puckered lips.

"why would you.." he trailed off, letting out a scoff of disbelief.

his voice was heavy, the rasp in his tone making his words sound deep. “i’m trying to have a moment of vulnerability here.”