“Dad,” Wilbur whined, all high pitched and dramatic like a child trying to get their parents attention or be a brat. “Techno kidnapped a child.”

Phil choked on his coffee, spluttering and looking up at one of his oldest children. Techno, his Techno, kidnapping a child? Okay there had to be more to this story than what Wilbur was saying.

“I—pardon?” He chuckled. “Where is your brother?”

Tommy came in, the door opening and shutting with his arrival while looking at his older brother and then dad.

“In the garage codling their new “baby” or something.” Tommy grumbled.

“‘Or something’?” Phil echoed, putting his coffee down and standing up to go check out what was going on in the garage.

“We already tried talking Techno out of it dad, this isn’t something you’re going to win.” Wilbur calls, annoyed with their brother.

“Okay, Wilbur, give me a minute.” Phil sighed, stepping out into the garage.

Techno is leaning into the car, gently shushing someone and humming quietly.

“Techno.” Phil says, crossing his arms. “Wilbur has accused you of stealing a child, care to deny these claims?”

“No.” Technoblade deadpanned.