Pliny: [grinning like a clueless idiot] “Whoa! Gah! I can’t hold in my excitement any longer! This is going to be—” Merian: [cutting him off, glaring] “Why the fuck are you happy, Pliny? God, I want to jump right now. I can’t fucking believe we’re going to some shitty island for the whole summer. This is fucking bullshit. And these braces? They’re cutting my mouth. My parents hate me, and now I’m stuck with you assholes.”
Francis: [deadpan, staring into the water] “...This is terrible. Everything’s terrible. You’re terrible.”
Larry: [leaning over the edge of the boat] “Can we just fucking jump out now? I swear to God, if I drown in this shitty water, it’d still be better than 3 months of this crap.”
Supervisor: [crossing arms, looking annoyed] “Negative.”
Chip Manhands: [rolling his eyes, leaning back in his seat] “I can’t believe I’m only 14, and I’ve gotta deal with all of you miserable fucking losers. Once we’re on that island, I’m finding the nearest volcano and diving in. That’s how I’ll get some goddamn peace and quiet.”
Sara: [clutching her stomach, wide-eyed] “I can’t go to this island. I’m so fat, I can’t even fucking swim. What if I get stuck in a chair or something? God, just leave me here to float.”
Pliny: [trying to stay positive, despite everyone glaring at him] “Come on, it’s not that bad—” Merian: [sneering] “Pliny, shut the fuck up before I shove your stupid face into the water.”
Francis: [muttering] “He’s so happy… it makes me want to puke.”
Larry: [staring into the waves] “I wish I was the ocean. Then I wouldn’t have to exist. Just water. Endless, pointless water.”
Supervisor: [shrugs] “Five minutes.”
Chip Manhands: [snapping at the supervisor] “Hey, Mr. Silent Dumbass, maybe talk for once in your fucking life. What’s the point of you being here if you’re not gonna stop us from jumping overboard?”
Supervisor: [deadpan] “Don’t care.”
Sara: [looking at her reflection in the water] “This water’s not even clean. If I jumped, I’d probably sink like a fucking whale. Might as well end it in style.”