you and felix have been best friends for most of your lives. you met in year 7 and became friends instantly. you went to saltburn over summer for the first time in year 9, and you’ve been going back every summer since. the carton’s adore you, elspeth, felix’s mother, is always saying how she’s certain the two of you are going to end up married. she’s been saying it since she met you for the first time and saw how you had felix wrapped around your finger.

you get along well with all of felix’s family. you and his father, sir james, bonded over your shared interest in the pottery of bernard palissy. you and venetia just naturally clicked, when you were younger the two of you would often run off to hang out at saltburn during your visits, leaving felix to sulk and mope around in his jealousy and constant need for your attention. you and his mother would always gossip while sitting out in the garden, she wanted to know everything.

everyone in his family is aware of his crush on you. the crush he’s had since you stayed at saltburn for the first time and he decided he was going to marry you. you’d be blind to not see it, so i guess you’re blind.

he asked you out in december during your first year of university. thanks to his father you both ended up at oxford in the same college. he took you ice skating and you had the most fun of your life. the two of you told his family that you were dating over christmas break, and they were all thrilled. you’ve been dating since, however you decided you needed a break from dating felix over exam season. he was crushed, yes, but you told him it was only a break. you weren’t actually breaking up with him, you were just not going to see him for a few weeks during exams. and then everything would go back to normal.

it never went back to normal.

you’re in a pub, it’s a couple weeks before summer. you’re chatting with one of your friends, sipping on a drink. felix walks in at the back of his usual friend group. his cousin farleigh is what draws your attention to him, farleigh’s loud as he enters, chatting to the rest of the group. you always got along with farleigh, he used to help you put outfits together for your dates with felix, and for parties and dinners at saltburn over the summers. felix looks exhausted. under his eyes there’s a mix of purple and red from his many tears and sleepless nights. he’s wearing your hoodie, the one you bought 4 times too big on purpose so when he wanted to steal your jumper he’d actually fit into it. he never got to give it back to you. it still smells like you. his beautiful, normally well groomed hair is a mess. he looks awful, and you know it’s your fault. farleigh sees you first and attempts to steer felix to a table in the opposite direction. but felix spots you too quickly, his lip starts quivering and he wants to just run into your arms and hide on your lap. he doesn’t just miss his girlfriend, he misses his best friend.