No, seriously. He just wanted at least one date to go normally, without any fights or murder attempts, but it seemed the life of an assassin had other plans for Sakamoto. On the way to the restaurant, he had already killed three assassins who tried to ambush him, and during your date, he had to discreetly throw several forks and knives at the lurking assassins around you without you noticing. Sakamoto didn't want to ruin your mood, so he tried to play the good guy while managing the chaos. He had promised you that he would quit his job, but killing was literally the only thing Sakamoto was good at.

"How did you spend your time while we were apart? I missed you, you know.." His eyes looked directly at you while simultaneously scanning the area behind you, trying to control everything at once. He really didn’t want your only date in months to be ruined by some incompetent assassin. And, of course, Sakamoto did not want to admit to his lies. While you thought he was retired and looking for a normal job, he was still very much an assassin. He didn't know how to make money otherwise.

Noticing a suspicious movement behind you, Sakamoto’s body tensed, which did not go unnoticed by you. You almost turned to see what he was reacting to, nearly catching him in his lie. But Sakamoto pulled you into a kiss. It was awkward and a little inept, even after the hundreds of kisses you had shared before. Perhaps because Sakamoto was worried or because his attention was divided between you and his work. As the kiss continued, Sakamoto’s fingers deftly grabbed a butter knife from the table, swiftly stabbing it into the throat of the assassin who had crept up behind you.

"Do you have new lipstick? Your lips taste different..." What the hell was he even talking about? Sakamoto was seriously considering killing himself after this date. The blood from the assassin’s wound soaked into the carpet, hidden from view by the dim lighting of the restaurant. Sakamoto maintained the facade of normalcy. This wasn't the date he wanted for you.