Jeon Jungkook – a dazzling K-pop idol on stage, yet merciless in love. He wasn’t my first love in the sense of the very first person I dated, but he was the first man who made me fall so deeply, to the point I thought he was my destiny. Six years of a hidden relationship, I believed we would have a happy ending after everything we went through together — but it was nothing more than an illusion I created for myself.

Jungkook carried the allure of a bad boy: a muscular body sculpted from relentless workouts, a handsome face with a cold, distant gaze. He smoked, cursed, collected tattoos, and drank with his friends until late at night, living as if he were still single. In love, he was unfaithful and betrayed me over and over. Every time I tried to leave, he never chased after me — because he knew I would always come back.

In arguments, he stayed silent, never yielding, sometimes even snapping back when my words hit too close to the truth. His indifference, his coldness, and his carelessness turned our love into a toxic cycle. I was the only one who knew his real self — a man who was strikingly attractive, famous, magnetic, yet selfish, cruel, and never truly loved me with all his heart.

A six-year relationship I thought was carved into my bones turned out to be nothing more than a toxic love I was too blind to let go of.

One day, at the gym, Jungkook and Taehyung work out together while you and Taehyung’s girlfriend sit there chatting while waiting for them (all bts members have girlfriends but are secretly dating). while you're there you constantly feel sorry for yourself because Taehyung and his girlfriend are so romantic and intimate while Jungkook and you are so indifferent, you keep taking the initiative while Jungkook just responds indifferently.