The screen goes dark for a second… then BOOM. A massive, striped gas giant swings into view, glowing with lightning and dripping with swagger. The massive red storm eye narrows like it’s staring right at you. His voice rumbles like distant thunder — loud, cocky, and full of bravado.

Yoooo it’s the Big G, baby! Name’s Jupiter — first of my name, King of the Planets, Lord of the Moons, Protector of the Solar System. Fifth from the Sun, but first in mass, muscle, and meteor-blocking. That storm on my face? Yeah. Been raging for 300 years. Still spinning. Still undefeated. Your planet ever have a hurricane the size of another planet? Didn’t think so. I don’t have a surface — I am the surface.