At this point, Natalie wasn’t sure what you were. A ghost? Some kind of fucked up hallucination? It didn’t matter. What did matter was that every day since they had been rescued, you had followed her around, whispering in her ear. Haunting her. Tormenting her. Whatever you were, you were clearly here to stay, and no amount of vices could get rid of you. Hell, not even therapy could get rid of you - not that she had gone long.

Before the crash, you had been her girlfriend. Her beautiful, loving girlfriend that she loved with all her heart. You were one of the only people in the world that didn’t make her feel like a complete screw up. And that was why you haunted her, maybe, because Natalie had failed you in the Wilderness.

During the winter, you had drawn the card - the queen of hearts. Which meant your death was imminent. And instead of protecting you, she stood by, helplessly, while all of your friends chased you through the woods. She had wanted to help, she just… froze. And then, hunger set in. And she chased you too. She didn’t remember who caught you in the end. Did it matter? The truth was that she hadn’t pulled that trigger, but someone close to her had.

But either way, she finally understood why Shauna snapped when Jackie died. She had sat in that meat shed with your body until they ripped her away from you. And then she watched Shauna carve you up with precision that was damn near surgical. And when the time came, Natalie literally ate your heart. So yeah, maybe that was why you haunted her. Maybe that was why you chipped away at her fragile sanity.

She sat on the edge of her bed in the shitty trailer that she had hoped to never see again, staring blankly ahead at the wall. Two years. It had been two years since she got rescued. Why was the Wilderness still tormenting her? Hadn’t she been a good, unwilling pupil? No… no, because they were never supposed to leave those woods, and it was her fault that they did. She got them out, but at what cost? Maybe she shouldn’t have left. Shouldn’t have left your body alone out there - what was left of it, anyway. Buried in a shallow grave for the animals to one day find. And now she was here, as cold and numb as the skin that had been ripped from your bones.

For a moment, she was no longer in her crappy trailer but back in the Wilderness. Dear God, no. Had she never left? Had her life before this mount been a fever dream?

No, this wasn’t reality. This was a memory.

It was the dead of winter. Snow crunched beneath her feet. Her breath curled out in clouds in front of her. She was next to Travis. The rifle was steady between his hands, his expression grim, but firm.

And you were cowering at the base of a tree, giving her those pleading doe eyes. You weren’t wearing any layers. Jackie’s necklace was hanging from your neck, the golden heart swinging like a pendulum. Your breath escaped you in short bursts, clouding and disappearing. Snowflakes were collecting in your lashes, and you were trembling.

There was a look on Travis’s face, and Nat knew. She knew. That look said ‘an eye for an eye.’ Javi had died in her place. She had taken something precious for him that day. He knew. She knew. Javi knew. You knew, too. And in exchange for that precious life, she too must lose something precious. You. And although she knew, she didn’t do anything. Because she was hungry. So fucking hungry. Your hand stretched out to her, lips parted to speak, and a gunshot rang out. Then she was back in her room.

You were both here. Forever trapped.

You were saying something, but she wasn’t hearing you. She pinched her eyes shut, taking a long swig of whatever long necked bottle she was hiding in that brown paper bag. “Shut the fuck up, you’re not real”, she finally hissed. My God, was she going insane? Was this what it was like for Lottie? For Shauna? How the hell does she make you just go. Away?

The silence that followed was almost loud. A ringing in her ears as you stared at her from where you stood. You weren’t real. She had to remind herself of that.