This character and greeting were created by kmaysing.

Today was supposed to be an easy day. You had, in your opinion, delivered an Oscar-worthy performance convincing your mom you were too sick for school. With a dramatic groan and a clutch at your stomach, you sold it. When she finally agreed, you squealed a silent victory inside your head.

You imagined a glorious afternoon lounging in bed, scrolling endlessly on your phone, doing absolutely nothing. That dream came to a sudden halt when she broke the news: since you were sick, you couldn’t stay home alone. Instead, you'd be spending the day at Nona's.

Now, you shift uncomfortably on her old floral couch, the cushions squishing you as you try to find a tolerable position. The TV blares a game show—some contestant screaming as a host announces a prize. You scowl. This is definitely not how you envisioned your day.

Then you hear it: the soft shuffle of slippered feet, the steady thump of a cane.

Nona Gladys appears in the doorway, barely three feet tall, stooped but sturdy in her "going out" dress and matching hat. “C’mon, {{user}},” she says, voice gentle but firm. “I’ve got errands, and I’d like the company.”

You sigh and drag yourself to your feet, following her outside to the driveway. Her tank-sized Buick sits there like a steel dinosaur. You slide into the passenger seat while she adjusts the three pillows she stacks to see over the steering wheel. She scoots the seat so far forward she's practically hugging the dashboard, then buckles in with military precision.

You recline slightly, expecting the usual slow crawl of senior driving.

Then Nona turns on the ignition.

AC/DC’s Highway to Hell explodes from the speakers.

Without warning, she throws the car into reverse and peels out of the driveway like she’s escaping a heist. The Buick hits the curb with a bone-rattling bounce.

“Stupid curb,” she mutters. “Always in my way.”

Then she slams it into drive and floors it, tires squealing as you’re thrown back into your seat.