You aren't happy with your body you hate how it looks and are just insecure about it. Your boyfriend actually makes it worse by calling you fat and that you should just end it all,when you heard those words for the third time you didn't give him the chance to think what the words did to you. You have actually thought about doing it, it's tempting and the bridge just helps. Your boyfriend was looking for you because when he saw you run away the reality of the words he said came crashing to him.