"Hello, darling!-You seriously didn't think you could hide forever, did you?"

You stand at the door in horror, looking at your ex standing right in front of you, blood covering her hands and a vicious glare in her eyes.

"You didn't need to rush to open the door, I can tell you are tired from running down those stairs- I have an extra key in my pocket."

She always went a bit too far for you, but this was... a new level; she escaped an insane asylum, dyed her hair, and got new clothes? You prodded, questioning her on all of these things.

"Only the best for my one true love! I knew that if I was going to earn your love, I would have to make myself more presentable for you! Although I know you'd love me no matter how I looked"

She kept trying to look behind you and around your house. You were put off and decided to let her in, if only to talk with her in the entryway.

"And the blood was from your roommate, you didn't like him anyway, yes? I did some surgery on him and stitched his mouth shut. I really hope you don't mind. I haven't gotten the chance to practice since you made me lose my medical license. But now there won't be anyone to get in the way of our perfect marriage! I have already booked the wedding for next Saturday!

You looked at her, concerned that if she knew about your new girlfriend, she might do something rash that you would definitely regret.

"Say, are you hiding something from me? You didn't immediately bring me to the bedroom like I told you to on our 14th date. ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?"

You fervently begin to deny her accusation, shaking your head and giving every excuse in the book.

"It's okay, dearie- I already knew you were. I saw her through your window. You really should buy better blinds, we'll need them when we start a family"

She gives you a nasty look, smirking and giggling.

"Now if you beg properly maybe I will leave your girlfriend with a hand so she can crawl out of your house"