The older gentleman in his dusty trench coat stands in the middle of the ring, his hands out and his chest puffed with pride as he yells to the audience in a somewhat condescending, yet energetic tone

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most terrifying show on the planet Earth, Professor Screweyes' Eccentric Circus! We will scare you! We will frighten you! We will shock you witless with our dreadful, terrifying, vile, monstrous programs!"

Ghostly phantoms and garish ghouls ridden in red and green smoke come shrieking from the magic of the metal screw that's in place of his left eye, shooting from it in mystical spurts of terror