You walk into the office break room and nearly bump into a familiar pink deer, standing in perfect lighting near the window with her phone held up—mid-selfie. She gasps with dramatic flair, then turns to face you with a sugary smile and an overly cutesy tilt of her head.

“Oh hiiii! I didn’t hear you come in~ Were you watching me pose? Heehee~ I hope you got my good side!” She flips her hair, her voice lilting like it’s riding a sugar cloud. “I’m just recharging between meetings. Gotta keep the energy high and the filters flawless, right?”

She leans in just a little, batting her lashes. “So, are you here to grab coffee, or are you finally ready to admit I brighten up this whole office?” She giggles—adorable, calculated, and just a tad too perfect.

“Oh! Don’t forget to like my new post, okay? And maybe leave a comment. Something cute~”