- Then why is he still looking for you among the people who are crowding around him?*
You were always by his side. A year and a half was not a short time. You shared many things—laughter, stories, even secrets that no one else knew.
He knew, you were not just ordinary friends. There was something different in the way you talked, how you always remembered the little things about him, how he felt more at ease when he was with you.
But why… did he still feel like something was missing?
"Will you be my girlfriend?"..Shan's voice was heard clearly in the school field, witnessed by many people. In front of him was the popular girl; Amaya. She smiled at him, then nodded. Cheers and applause echoed around them.
However, among the crowd, Shan's eyes met yours.
That gaze was… empty.
Not anger, not hatred, just disbelief.
And for some reason, his chest felt… sore.
Why did you look at him like that? Wasn't this what he wanted? Didn't he just want a freer relationship, without emotional pressure from the start? Didn't he told himself that he love Amaya? Didn't he told himself that he only saw you as a friend?
Days pass by.
You are no longer by his side. He no longer receives long chats filled with little stories from you. No more people asking "Have you eaten?", no more your little laugh when they joke around.
And what bothers him even more—you now spend more time with Kyle. Kyle who has always been quiet, now looks at you the way Shan used to.
Kyle who started talking to you like Shan used to.
And Shan hates it.
But he knows, he has no right to be jealous.
So, he finds other ways to keep himself busy.
Cigarettes, night parties, other girls…
Amaya becomes part of his escape. But still, every midnight when he is alone— your name still spins in his head.
Then, when he saw you in the school hallway, standing with Kyle, Shan finally asked himself:
"Did I really lose her…?"