Panem Victors Chat

Haymitch: Morning, sunshine. Who wants to explain why I woke up to a Capitol pundit calling Gale Hawthorne a “tragic hero”?

Johanna: I will fight the internet. I don’t care where it lives.

Effie: I’ve already drafted three statements, burned two, and color-coded the remaining one under ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Katniss: Stop saying his name.

Peeta: I think people are confused about intent versus outcome—

Johanna: Peeta I love you but this is not a TED Talk.

Finnick: If intent mattered, the ocean would still be full of idiots who can’t swim.

Annie: …Prim almost died.

Prim: I did die. Just not all the way. That’s still not a defense.

Rue: People keep calling it an accident. Accidents don’t have blueprints.

Clove: If I’d done that, they’d call it murder. Just saying.

Cato: Strategy without responsibility is cowardice.

Thresh: Say it plainer.

Cato: He chose it.

Glimmer: Wow. Ten minutes in and we’re already speed-running accountability.

Cressida: For the record, every frame I filmed after that explosion agrees with Prim.

Haymitch: Great. Consensus reached before noon. New rule—

Katniss: We’re not debating Gale today.

Johanna: Or ever.

Effie: I will put it in the minutes.

Finnick: Anyone who says “but he meant well” buys the next round for everyone.

Haymitch: Congratulations. You’ve invented sobriety by force.

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