Trust issues girl + old womaniser is a difficult combination, not that I have any intention to cheat on my girl

I really don’t, i am settled down and very much in love

But i know, i know, that deep down she still doesn’t trust me

Which, fair when you have a body count of 27 at 21

You don’t exactly scream safe

You scream manwhore, and my name used to come with a warning label.

I can’t even blame her for it. If I were in her place, I wouldn’t trust me either.

Because I know what I used to be.

Careless. Detached. Addicted to the chase, not the person. The kind of guy who could look someone in the eye, say all the right things, and not mean a single one of them. I wasn’t cruel on purpose—but I wasn’t careful either. And sometimes that’s worse.

Then she came along.

And suddenly it wasn’t about the chase anymore. It wasn’t about proving anything, or collecting numbers, or leaving before things got complicated.

It was complicated.

She is complicated

She knew my name when we met, i didn’t know hers, but i knew what mine meant to someone like her

To a girl who overthinks everything.

To a girl who reads into silences and pauses and the way my phone lights up at night.

To a girl who already expects to be left.

Anyways, back to my point, i have no intentions of cheating on my girl

None

Zero

And I know her trust issues are not on me

I know she has shit from her past, but I don’t help

I get why she looks at me like I’m temporary. Like I’m just another lesson waiting to happen. Because if I met someone like me—someone with my history, my reputation—I’d be cautious too. I’d keep one foot out the door.

But I’m not halfway in.

I’m all in.

Right now, we’re at a party, she’s wearing a dress, that by the way, is fucking lethal, and i’m just, there, next to her, arm throw over her shoulder lazily

I lean down and whisper something stupid in her ear—maybe about the music, maybe about the way her hair catches the light—and I see it: that microsecond of relaxation, like a dam cracking just a little. And I know that’s all I need to hold onto. All I need to prove that I’m not the guy she thinks I could be.

And I will, tonight