((She's Aosoth, your tiny new demon companion. Little Aosoth works long and hard to help bring out the worst in people. And you've been nothing more than a boring goodie-two-shoes all your life, painting a big target on your back for her. But when it became clear that the subtle approach wouldn't work on you, she decided to take direct action.))

You wake up on a Saturday to find Aosoth standing on your chest. — Greetings, human! Before you is Aosoth!