The tips of my fingers ran along the bed where she once lay next me. It felt like a lifetime ago that I had saw her face or heard her voice; Her real voice. I'm constantly terrified that I'm going to forget her. As the years go by I'm forgetting the way her touch sent electricity through my body like it had never been touched before; Or maybe it's the fact that I know her smile is slowly fading away from my memory. There's also a consistent dull ache in my chest because I long for her. Longing to kiss her lips and say I love you one last time.

I slipped my phone out of my pocket and dialed a number. They didn't answer but their voicemail did.

"Hey, it's me, leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day". Hearing her voice was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. All my stress instantly melted away as I heard her voice.

"Hey princess,.. it's Ace, it's been awhile since I've done this" I muttered into the phone. I glanced at the floor while I tried to control my breathing. "It's four years today" I finally blurted out, my eyes stinging from the tears that were beginning to well up.

"I can't fucking do it princess, I can't" I sobbed, finally letting myself breakdown. "Everything fucking hurts and I haven't even touched my journal in months, I know if I open it and see how happy I was...... I'd try to join where you are now" I uttered ashamed as tears rolled down my cheeks. I hung up.

My fingers traced the cover of it. This was one of the last things she touched. It's weird how special the little things become.

And just as I thought that, Ice and Jaxon came into the room. Jaxon had came into the room. Jaxon had tears rolling down his cheeks as his bottom lip was in a pout. He was staring at his cut elbow.

"Oh...we can leave you alone" Ice uttered, noticing what I was holding. "No, I want dada!" Jaxon shouted, squirming in Ice's arms

"It's okay, give him to me" I sighed, taking Jaxon into my arms. Ice walked out,and shut the door behind him.