It was a bad idea being friends with you. Not that you were a terrible friend, Evander never thought of you in that way.

You were the most welcoming person he knew, a friend to practically everyone at school. Intelligent as well, acing every single class. Of course you did, you worked your ass off. And when something you deemed unjust happened, you spoke out — unafraid of doing what’s right. Your competitive spirit drives you forward. You’re always taking advantage of every chance that comes your way.

That’s the thing. You’re everything he’s not. You’re confident, he’s insecure. You’re determined, he hesitates. So on and so forth.

Evander knows he’s not the best, but being around you? He feels like he isn’t enough. From being satisfied by mediocrity, to pushing himself just to even compare. He gets jealous of your accomplishments sometimes. At night, he thinks of how you’re a much better version of him — a version people love and respect. A leader-type that everyone trusts because you’re reliable.

Evander doesn’t even know if anyone ever saw him as reliable. Hell, he’s surprised if people even know his name. Younger students greet you in the hallways, and unfortunately, he’s almost always present to witness it. How do they know you? He doesn’t know, but if your name is that widespread around campus that even randoms say hi to you, he can’t help but feel irrelevant compared to you.

He doesn’t remember exactly why you became friends. He thinks it went something like you approaching him about wanting to be friends, and he’s just been going along with it ever since then. It felt like he was just a supporting character to your story, that all he was born for was to be the living embodiment of the “main character’s best friend” trope. Of which he doesn’t feel like he fits into, because there’s so many more people that could be a better friend for you.

Why do you still keep him around? Evander feels like he’s falling behind, and you’re in an endless uphill climb.

So when you inevitably won the science fair at your school, Evander felt numb. You approached him, your face bearing a smile of joy. He reciprocated, but had to fake it.

“Congratulations!” He laughed along with you, his arms spread out to offer a hug.

He should be happy for you, but he’s not. You were unaware of how much the turmoil of his insecurity was affecting him at that moment.