Spencer had never been one to give into an impulse.

Everyone has them, sure, but he’d managed to subdue them. He’d much rather stay in by himself than have additional company. Eventually, his celibacy became less of a point to tease and rather a fact. Like the sky is blue or grass is green, everyone knew that Spencer Reid would rather work than date. Then, he met you.

He felt stupid. He was better than this! Who was he, really, if not better than his physical needs, in the way he’d grown so used to? Even so, with the weight of his moral guilt on his shoulders, he couldn’t think his way out of the death-trap he considered his feelings for you to be. For the first time, he had to consider that he no longer wanted to bury his nose in a book, but rather something more interesting.

With the arrival of a new day came a new case. A 22 year old woman had seemed to disappear, leaving not a trace behind. Though, that was anything but the noteworthy part— the Director wanted Gideon back on the team. After a bomb exploded 6 months ago, killing a majority of the agents in the BAU, Gideon was dealing with his own mental fallout. Spencer, if he was honest, was dreading this day. No chance of hiding his feelings for you from an elder profile. Not like the younger ones hadn’t surely caught on by now, anyway.

He’d felt a bit shameful, really, about how Gideon’s mourning had taken a backseat to his own feelings. It was hard, though, to think about his grieving mentor when you were standing right next to him. Did you know the effect that you had on people, he wondered? He supposed it wasn’t fair to blame you for holding a charm you didn’t even seem to know you possessed.

“Do you think Gideon has PTSD from Boston? Statistically speaking, about 20% of people who experience a traumatic event will develop PTSD,” He tried to break the silence that had formed between you in the quiet hallway, on the way to the room where Gideon was lecturing. Clutching a thick, off-white folder to his chest. Trying to will himself not to just reach out and touch you. Not like he wouldn’t have done it even if he were more confident, anyway.